5 Snacks That Should Be Bigger in America

In the spirit of gardenbar®, the wholesome, delicious snack food that represents five countries by their unique foods, and culinary styles; I’m going to list some snack foods that are big in all the 5 gardenbar® countries, which really seem like they should be bigger here in the U.S.

Japan and Kit-Kats

Now for some reason, Japan is heart set on making more flavors of Kit-Kat than anyone can possibly list. These flavors include every kind of fruit, corn, apple vinegar, green tea, potato, and the mysterious “white” (which is not white chocolate, which they do also have). But why are there so many flavors of Kit-Kats? Probably for the same reason there are over twenty Godzilla movies, the Japanese take something they love, and just don’t let go of it. Which is great! This is the kind of passion that gets us six seasons and a movie for Community, or a sequel to Anchorman, or FDR a fourth term (those three are definitely all on the same level of historical importance).

Why it should be bigger in America

Because Americans love two things: chocolate, and choices. It seems like every day we are bombarded with options, and they don’t really make us happier, but we still get completely up in arms when we don’t get to customize everything in our lives. I’m pretty sure riots would ensue if Cheesecake factory ever reduced their novel sized menu by even a page. So if Kit-Kat made their chocolate bars like trading cards, Americans would eat that up. Literally!

India and curry flavored chips

So we all get that India loves curry, and that’s because it’s delicious. And even though that’s just an opinion, it’s one I share with many Americans as curry has grown to be very popular in the U.S. So to appeal to the people of India, Lays created curry flavored potato chips, and supposedly it’s pretty good.  I say that because it’s a hugely popular flavor in India, as well as Pakistan, and Bangladesh. Curry to them is like BBQ to us. And that analogy should clarify everything.

Why it should be bigger in America

Because we love it when our food tastes like other food! That’s the only way I can justify why we have pizza flavored Pringles, mint ice cream flavored gum, cheeseburger flavored Doritos, Chicken in a biscuit, and the inexplicable bacon flavored Easy Cheese. If two foods obviously won’t go well together, Americans are all for trying to combine them. And Americans do love curry. It’s not as popular as pizza or anything, but it’s pretty well received, so why wouldn’t we feel more open to adopting curry flavored chips into our already oddly diverse diet?

Italy’s Pizza Vending Machine

So this isn’t technically a snack food, but there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be on every street corner in America. In Italy, a company called Wonder Pizza, has invented a vending machine that will craft you a fresh pizza in three minutes, and charge you about $6 for a 10’ pizza. We can only assume that there is some sort of sorcery that makes it work, or possibly it’s the work of Italian Keebler elves.

It even comes with a built in limbo stick!

Why it should be bigger in America

IT’S A PIZZA VENDING MACHINE! Seriously, there really doesn’t need to be much of an explanation for this one. It’s easily the most amazing thing since women with Steve Buscemi’s eyes. It’s really just one of those things you didn’t know your life was missing until you were made aware of its existence. It beautifully combines America’s passion for pizza and not waiting for stuff. It is coming to the states soon, but it’s been in Europe for 3 years now, and I just can’t fathom what could have possibly kept this life altering machine from our land and lives for that long!

Mexico and lollipops

In Mexico there is a certain type of lollipop that is tequila flavored… and it may or may not have a worm in the center of it. We get that the worm part is gross, but there is no reason why you should let that spoil the wonders of a tequila pop for you. It’s all the horrible taste of tequila without the fun of getting drunk!

Why it should be bigger in America

Americans seem to have a special dedication to drinking. What amazing things have we formed as a result of alcohol? NASCAR, state of the art technology that allows you to know how cold beer cans are, and the only Americans willing to sing karaoke. But more importantly, people get in trouble for drinking when they shouldn’t. People at work, kids under the age of 21, people leading AA meetings, etc. But maybe if there were more alcohol flavored lollipops or candies, people would be able to satiate their desires at times when they shouldn’t drink? Probably not, but it’s a nice thought.

America and bugs

Now I know that in the last point I agreed that eating a worm seemed disgusting, but the fact is that insects should, and probably will be incorporated in our diets more and more over the coming years. It’s hard to believe because Hollywood has molded our minds into thinking that bugs are the most putrid thing on the planet, and that they all deserve to be killed with fire!

Why it should be bigger in America

Because bugs are just better. Deal with it. Insects are high in protein, low in fat, incredibly efficient to farm, and have much lower levels of harmful emissions than cows, pigs, or chickens. Facts are facts people, and I know you want nothing more than to kill all the insects in the world, but I’m merely suggesting you do it in a flambé rather than with a rolled up newspaper.

It’s a delectable twist on the never ending handkerchief trick

I realize that a lot of these foreign snack foods were heavily influenced by Western snack foods that we see every day, but if you’re looking for a real, authentic taste of each of these countries native cuisines, then try a gardenbar®. It bundles all of the delicious flavors from each of these exotic destinations, in a delectable and healthy snack for anyone on the go.